Amusing Terrace Chants

Football chants come in all shapes and sizes, some can be cruel, some are simply witty, others are variations of songs that have been around for years - They can be historic, dating back to the formation of a club, adaptions of popular songs, or spontaneous reactions to events on the pitch.

Some songs are in support of their own players, others are aimed at rival fans, opposition managers and players, but on occasions fans do turn on their own players. Very often football chants are directed at a clubs former player, particularly if they left the club under acrimonious circumstances.
Not surprisingly the games officials also suffer the wrath of football fans.

There are thousands of chants out there, but I've just picked out a small selection, that should at least raise a smile!


West Ham fans take the mickey out of London rivals Fulham by asking: 'Does your butler know you're here?'

'We've all had you're missus, We've all had you're missus.'
At a Cambridge United game, while some bloke proposed to his girlfriend at half time.

From Oldham fans:
'Give us a T. Give us an I.
Give us a T. Give us an S.
What do you do with 'em?
'Old'em! 'Old'em!'

'All bling and Burberry, high teenage pregnancy, no father on the scene, all robbing cash machines!'
A chant that Sittingbourne fans sing to local rivals Chatham (to the tune of Verdi's La Donna e Mobile).

'When the ball hits your head and you sit in row Z, thats Zamora.'
Sung about aimless Bobby Zamora to the tune of 'That's Amore' by Dean Martin.

'How wide? Nationwide!'
Birmingham fans to any wide shot.

'Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams!'
Political correctness went out of the window when it was reported that larger-than-life keeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

'You've got Di Canio, we've got your stereo'
Liverpool fans being all post-modern and deconstructing their own stereotype. Sung at West Ham fans, who would often boast 'We've got Di Canio!'

'Who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies? You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pies!'
Well, it had to be in here somewhere. A timeless classic:  More often abbreviated today to simply 'You fat bastard, you fat bastard!'

'In for a week, out for a month, in for a week, out for a month, in for a week, out for a month, Kewell is a tampon.'
Sung to Liverpool fans during Harry Kewell's injury plagued spell with the Club.

'You dirty northern bastards!'
A versatile chant, most often used by southern shandy-drinking types to wind up their northern cousins. Can also be used ironically - Plymouth Argyle and Exeter City fans sing it to anyone!

Chelsea were beating Leeds 5-0, so the Leeds fans attacked the electronic scoreboard until it short-circuited and went up in smoke. Then sang, 'Chelsea, Chelsea what's the score.'

'We hate Tuesday'
Millwall fans after Sheff Utd fans chant 'We hate Wednesday', at Bramall Lane.

'Come in a taxi,
You must have come in a taxi,
Cooome in a taxieeeee,
You must have come in a taxi.'
Birmingham fans to the few Sunderland fans that turned up at St.Andrew's.

In 1998 when Graham Rix was convicted of having sexual intercourse with an underage girl, football fans came with the chant: 'If you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next,' to the tune of the Manic Street Preachers song: 'If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next.'

Chelsea fans mocked Turkish side Galatasaray with this chant:
'You're shish. And you know you are. You're shish........'

Chelsea and Norwich fans at a game a couple of years ago:
'We have Abramovich, you have a drunken ****.'
Norwich fans reply:
'We have a super cook, you have a Russian crook.'

'Away in a manger, No crib for a bed, The little Lord Jesus, Laid down his sweet head, The stars in the bright sky, Looked down where HE LAY, HEALY, HEALY!'
Leeds fans to David Healy.

Aside from pop songs, there are several other songs from which football chants have taken the tune and/or words:

The tune of Camptown Races is used for 'Two World Wars, One World Cup,' and 'Ten Green Bottles' became 'Ten German Bombers' (to the tune of 'She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain'), both songs used by England fans to slight their main rivals, Germany.

'If it wasn't for the English you'd be Krauts
If it wasn't for the English you'd be Krauts
If it wasn't for the English
Wasn't for the English
If it wasn't for the English you'd be Krauts'
Sung by English fans to the French during the World Cup Finals held in France in 1998.